Recently it feels like I am coming out of a fog. One that I have been stuck in for awhile. I’m feeling more alive than I have in years. I say that with hesitation, as if by speaking it outloud, I may jinx it. I need to trade the word jinx to manifest. Anyway, I’ve been stuck in indecision and inaction for what feels like forever. This feeling of stuckness has been weighing heavily on me and I’m happy to report I am beginning to feel light again.
Ever since my uncle died, I have been trying to “Live Like Bruce”, meaning embrace whatever life throws at you and keep smiling. It’s a good way to live and using his outlook as my mantra has been helping in lots of ways. It has opened my eyes and forced me to reexamine this little life that I am living. I’ve been trying to live more deliberately, but also doing my best to let go. Not everything has to be dissected and given meaning. Sometimes things simply just are, because they are, and they don’t really mean anything at all. Hope that makes sense. It does in my nonsensical brain anyway. 🙂
Yesterday, during what has become my nearly daily beach walk, I saw an older woman struggling to get out of the water. The surf was pretty rough and the tides were changing, so the waves were pulling on her pretty hard. She was still smiling, though definitely struggling. There were people all around and a even a man in the water next to her, but he didn’t seem to notice. I unhooked my headphones and called out Do you need a hand?
Her smile grew wide as she nodded and reached out her hand for me. We walked a couple steps together until she was on the flat sand. She thanked me and told me she had hurt her knee. I told her no problem. And it wasn’t. Honestly, it made me feel really great to help someone. We’ve all been that person struggling in the water at some point; maybe we should pay more attention to others who may need help but aren’t asking. Just a thought. I do a lot of thinking on these beach walks of mine.
I’ve been reading a lot more lately since I haven’t been going on social media. I bought a book of poetry by Danielle Doby and it’s called I Am Her Tribe. The poems are profound observations of the ordinary and they make my book nerd heart smile. I’m happy that I find so much comfort in words.
I am also tearing through Love Warrior by Glennon Doyle. She writes the way that I think, and I so admire her ability to say exactly what she means. Just like her reviews said, it feels as if she is speaking directly to me. My emotional self has been sobbing my way through this magnificent memoir of her life. I’ve been thinking about the book all day while I was at work. I read nearly half of it last night and want to savor the rest of it.
My man was shaving last night while I was reading in the master bedroom and when he came out of the bathroom, he saw me in bed with red, puffy eyes and tears streaming down my face. He was like, Oh my gosh, what’s wrong? I smiled and told him I am reading a really good book. He looked at me like I’m crazy. Haha, maybe he’s right, but we’re all a little crazy. And it’s more than okay.
Alright, that’s enough for a Tuesday… Hope everyone is having a good week!