My Journey Back To Yoga

June 23, 2019June 25, 2019 / notthatanyoneasked / Leave a comment

So, it has been an extremely long journey for me to get myself back to yoga after hurting my back this past January. I’ve been doing some light stretching and working out at home, walking on the beach a ton, and participating in yoga challenges on Instagram, but it took me a lot longer than I would have liked to make it back to a yoga class. Practicing alone is great, but nothing quite matches the energy of a classed filled with sweaty bodies who’ve all come together for the same purpose.

After I herniated a couple of discs, I was scared to go back to yoga class. Not just because yoga is how I injured myself, but because I was nervous about what people would think about how much flexibility I’d lost and how much weight I gained. I felt broken, not just on the outside, but the inside too. My body and spirit felt heavy, and now, FINALLY, I can feel everything getting lighter.

Honestly, today’s class felt like coming home. Silent tears streamed down my cheeks during savasana. I did my best to wipe them away so no one would notice, but I think they blended in with all the sweat. It was a pretty tough flow– even the teacher agreed that it was more difficult than she had intended. I noticed the most weakness in my arms, which isn’t all that surprising.

Oh, I meant to mention that my uncle Bruce died this past Thursday. He was born disabled and doctors figured he would only live into his 30’s, but he was 67 years old when he passed. It’s very sad, and I feel horrible that my Dad had to bury his little brother, but he lived a long and full life.

We have been talking about Bruce’s life and legacy, and he is a role model for sure. He was dealt a very difficult hand in this life and yet he always managed to have a smile on his face. His positivity and outlook on life was truly an amazing example. I’ve been thinking about that a lot the past few days — I want to live like Bruce. Just dive into life headfirst and make no apologies, but have all the compassion and kindness in the world.

For as long as I can remember, my uncle had a sign hanging in his room that said, “Fuhgeddaboudit”. In looking it up online, and it is taking on a much deeper meaning. Actually the slang term was added to the Oxford English Dictionary. Forget about it — the issue is not worth the time, energy, mental effort, or emotional resources. That really was Bruce’s life outlook, whether he was fully conscious of it or not. We could all learn a lot from the way he approached life.

FullSizeRender-1

Yoga At The Big Cat Habitat

June 22, 2019June 24, 2019 / notthatanyoneasked / Leave a comment

This morning, I had a very interesting and rather unusual experience doing yoga at the Big Cat Habitat here in Sarasota. It began reasonably early at 8:45am, but it was already pretty hot and humid. Duh, it’s summer in Florida. There were tons of playful tigers all around us. Their enclosures are very large, which made it feel more like we were the ones in the zoo and they were visiting us. So amazing!

In addition to the tigers, we were able to see some lions and one giant (almost 800lbs!) liger– a cross between a male lion and a female tiger. Apparently the Big Cat Habitat has over 50 big cats living there, along with bears, sloths, alpacas, alligators, foxes, and a variety of exotic birds. All the animals have all been rescued and are now being protected and cared for by this amazing non-profit organization and its volunteers.

IMG_9145-4

We were lead through an hour flow by a very sweet instructor from Pineapple Yoga. Of course, we did several rounds of Lion’s Breath (where you inhale deeply and then let your breath out forcefully while sticking out your tongue like a lion). We also shook our tiger tails in our free-flowing cat/cow poses.

Halfway through our practice, one of the lions started “talking” to us. Not quite a roar, but a deep grumbling. You can hear a bit of it in the video. It was actually a little scary sounding initially, but we felt very safe and welcome at the sanctuary. In fact, they gave us all a day pass to come back another time and see everything.

I would highly recommend the Big Cat Habitat experience to anyone. It was fantastic; practicing yoga there was just icing on the cake. Seeing and sharing my morning with these beautiful creatures just reminded me that habitat preservation is so important, as well as compassion for animals. And we need to have more compassion for others, especially ourselves, but that’s another post entirely…😉

Have a good weekend, everyone! ROAR!

IMG_9122-2

IMG_9146-2

Excerpt From My High School Journal*

June 13, 2019June 24, 2019 / notthatanyoneasked / Leave a comment

For today’s blog posting, I thought maybe some of you might want to read some excerpts from my highschool journal. It has been almost 20 years, so I suppose it’s alright. This was my junior year at boarding school in New England and I had mono, so I couldn’t do sports and had to be pretty low key. Hope you you enjoy!

*Names & places have been changed

Thursday, September 6, 2001

It’s not bad or good, just kinda different.

Hey Lilly!

I’m back at Westbridgefield and it’s really weird. It’s not bad or good, just kinda different. There are sooo many new kids, it’s crazy. I don’t even feel like I’m at the same school. My friends are pretty much the same though… nothing to complain about there I guess.

My hall is pretty cool and the apartment of four girls is not directly across the hall as I feared. There are two new girls who are nice and I think I might become friends with. Who knows. It’s a new year… Anything can happen.

I’m kinda scared for the workload though. I have a tutor though and my awesome Ritalin. I just feel like this is gonna be a long year.

I miss Charlie like crazy and seeing his old room didn’t help. He barely talks to me online because there is so much going on in his room. He told me hasn’t hooked up with anyone. I’m glad, but I shouldn’t really care, ya know?

So, I saw Blake today and he got hotter over the summer. He looked REALLY good. I didn’t talk to him though… I think it’s too awkward. I saw Sean. It was good to see him. There are a lot of new guys, but I didn’t really get a chance to meet them. I’m not in the mood to meet new people, but basically I have no choice.

I have no idea what to wear tomorrow. Ugh. I’m sure I’ll be fine. Emmy is a cool roommate so far. I hope it lasts, because we definitely fought a lot last year. God, I miss last year. I need to move on from Charlie and get good grades. Yeah, those are my goals.

I don’t have much to say, despite what’s been going on here. Tomorrow classes start. I’m kinda nervous… wish me luck… goodnight! Love, Jules

P.S. Things between Catherine and I are fine… she isn’t mad about anything, which is good!

Friday, September 7, 2001

I feel so anti-social and out of place.

Hello Lilly!

Today was not a good day at all. I’m homesick and sooo not over Charlie. I was reading through all his emails from last year and started crying. I miss and him and what we had together. I don’t like how this year is starting.

Ellie is being attacked by like all the new guys. I’m not really interested in any of the guys and I’m not in the mood to be flirty with them. I feel so anti-social and out of place. I don’t feel like any guys like me. I know that I shouldn’t be concerned with that, but I can’t help it.

Today was such a long day. Seriously, it was insane. I am so bored while everyone is at sports… I don’t know how I’m gonna deal with it all fall. Classes went ok, but I really don’t like my new Spanish teacher. He’s a huge black guy and we can’t speak English in his class. He’s so intimidating.

Plus, Hailey is in both my Spanish and Math class. She was extremely nice to me, but she’s still loud and obnoxious. Oh well, I’m sure I’ll be fine

Anyways, while everyone was at practice I took a shower. Then we had a form dinner, which was good. After that was “Trivia Night”, which was completely boring. My table kinda sucked, too. I saw both Blake and Paul. For some reason, I will always be strangely attracted to them.

Catherine was so mean to me after “Trivia Night”. I was saying hi to Blake and she goes, “He doesn’t like you. I’m just stating the facts. He doesn’t really care.” I thought that was so rude of her and like not her place to say anything. I bet she will dance with him tomorrow night at the dance. Ok, enough anger.

Oh! So there was this guy at my table tonight who was so adorable. His name is Jon and he is a PG {Post Graduate}. He kinda looks like a mix between Paul and Blake (I know, I know…!) He seems really kinda shy though. Whatever.

The new guys are kinda weird. There’s one named Steve, but people call him Stifler, because he looks like the guy in American Pie. He’s funny, but really annoying. I can see him being like Brad. Basically everyone loves him at the beginning and then he crashed. Oh well. Robbie seems pretty cool I guess. God, I can’t remember anyone else’s names, sorry.

There are a lot of really cute new sophomores, but I’m pretty sure they’re off limits… I don’t wanna corrupt. Haha, well maybe I do. J I just want to be more friendly and not think about Charlie. He may still care about me, but being together is just not realistic. Ok, I’m absolutely exhausted now. I’m going to bed soon. Goodnight! Love, Jules

Not Everything Is As It Appears To Be

June 12, 2019June 24, 2019 / notthatanyoneasked / Leave a comment

In this day and age of being inundated by information 24/7/365, it has become very difficult to know what’s real and what’s fake. As I’ve said before, the internet is still relatively “new” and there aren’t many rules and regulations. No one is quite sure what to do with this vast and expanding form of communication and miscommunication. So, here we sit with a wealth of information, but no real knowledge or wisdom. It is making everyone reliant on the internet.

We are so overly connected. Short story time! …

The other day, I forgot to bring my phone home from the office. As I was about halfway through my half an hour drive home, I realized my error. I briefly considered turning around before deciding it was not worth the inconvenience. Only once I got home did I realize how annoying it was that I had no way to contact anyone — at all. (Even my laptop was at work). My man was working that night, and I was worried that he might think I died or something. I was going to ask someone at the Publix Supermarket to text him for me, but then I couldn’t remember the correct order of digits in his phone number. Ugh! A good lesson in having numbers saved somewhere other than your phone, just in case. Showed my true colors as a blonde that day. 🙂

My social media detox has been good, except I find myself desperately wanting to go back onto Instagram. Two of my yoga challenge prizes arrived this week (pics below). Two pairs of hemp undies and a beautiful moonstone stone bracelet. I am excited to do more soon! Not necessarily to win — obviously that’s just icing on the cake– but I really enjoy participating in these yoga challenges with the amazing community I have met on the app.

On another note, sometimes people keep up certain appearances on social media that are far from accurate from what is going on, on the inside. I know far too many couples who have had public divorces/breakups after painting a beautiful picture of their life on Facebook. It’s sad that we feel forced to put up a front for everyone instead of dealing with the issues at hand? I’ve been there though.

Of course I’ve created an illusion of happiness on social media. People always tell me that I look so happy. Yeah, that’s intentional! Glad it worked. Haha. Sometimes I feel content, but mostly I’m just bobbing along like everyone else. I’ll work on keeping it more real. Will you?

That’s all for today. Sorry it was kind of all over the place. Hope everyone is doing well!

Beach Walk

June 11, 2019June 24, 2019 / notthatanyoneasked / Leave a comment

IMG_8833-1

So, one of the perks of my current work situation is that I am a very close walk to one of the top beaches in the United States. Siesta Key is less than a 5 minute walk from my office, and I walk there as many days a week as I can, weather permitting. Today, I walked over 5 miles and it was glorious. I am quite tired, especially my feet from the give of the sand. It’s so good for my back, knees, and joints though. Things you have to think about when you’re in your 30’s.

On my beach walks, I usually listen to music and just tune in to the beach. Of course, I also enjoy people watching. I love the feel of the water on my feet and the beauty of the sun on the glistening turquoise water that this beach is famous for. I feel grateful that I live here. It was a choice.

IMG_8852-2

Do I ever picture myself moving back up North? I honestly don’t think so right now. It’s hard to imagine not raising my potential children at the Madison Beach Club in Connecticut where I grew up, but I don’t think that’s my future anymore. I love this little paradise that I’ve found in Southwest Florida. I am lucky that my parents are here and the man I’ve chosen to share my life with grew up here all his life.

Walking on the beach allows my mind to wander, in a healthy way. It’s majorly beneficial for my anxiety and I’d love to get to the beach every day. It’s my happy place, above anywhere else. Truly, it wouldn’t be a difficult goal to get to the beach every single day. Can I start a goal mid-way through the year? I think so!

Been Awhile…

May 20, 2019June 24, 2019 / notthatanyoneasked / Leave a comment

Sorry, I’ve been a bit nuts with everything. You know, life. 🙂

I moved in with my boyfriend.

My parents moved from the condo they owned on Siesta Key for the past 20 years. I got to visit their new home over the weekend and it’s very nice. Quite big for two people, but they say I always have a room there. I am so lucky to have such wonderful parents. They are my friends/soulmates, beyond their parenting role. Being an adopted, only child has made our bond an unique one.

I can only hope to be as nurturing with my future spawn, as they have been with me. I’ve got some big shoes to fill. That’s to say I get blessed with little humans. I’m 34 years old and not getting any more fertile. Haha, sorry, that’s meant to be tongue in cheek and not as pathetic as I maybe made it sound.

ANYWAY….

Moving in with someone after living alone for more than 5 years has been interesting. I like having someone at home, there for me, even if I don’t need them. We can just sit and be together, feeling comfort in just having each other’s company.

I’ve been a bit emotional and have had some anxiety, but it’s understandable. Change is hard for a lot of people, and for some reason it’s a bit harder for me. I am trying, and doing the best I can.

Today, I had to bring my car (2011 Ford Edge), whom I fondly call ‘Henry’, to the dealership. His power brake stopped working and it was under warranty. Now, it’s like the breaks are uber sensitive and I may have given myself whiplash. 😉

More tomorrow, hopefully…

Hangovers In Your 30’s

April 21, 2019June 24, 2019 / notthatanyoneasked / Leave a comment

I had an unbelievably fun Friday night with one of my best friends from Connecticut. She was here visiting with her husband, who is her college sweetheart. They both went to Rollins, and her husband’s family has a condo here.

Speaking of condos here on Siesta Key, my parents have sold their place on the intracoastal, where they have lived intermittently for the past 20 years. It’s going to be weird to say goodbye to the condo where I spent countless vacations. And what’s possibly weirder is now I work on the key… Not really sure what to make of all this, but it’s ultimately not in my hands.

So, back to Friday… my boss let me leave at 2pm on Friday and then Adam, my boyfriend of 3 years, and I drove to my friend’s parents’ condo at the other end of the key. We met up with the two of them and their two girls (aged 1 and 2), with another baby 1/2 way cooked coming in August. It was a blast to bond with these new humans, and I really had such a great time getting to know them. I think they liked me, too.

I do want kids, even though the responsibility scares me considerably. My friend kept saying how I would be such a good Mom. That makes my heart happy. Some women have an innate desire to be a mother, and I’ve always (very quietly) been one of them.

Again, Friday night, after boating around the bay, we met my friend’s parents for dinner at Casey Key Fish House and had a great time. We boated slowly home, and then my friends wanted to keep going. My boyfriend was exhausted, so he went home and I stayed on to keep drinking. Ugh… it’s Monday and I’m still paying for it. That’s what getting old is like sometimes. Bummer.

giphy-7

Need To Write More!

April 8, 2019June 24, 2019 / notthatanyoneasked

I need to write more.

It’s not good to let my writing get rusty. I communicate a lot through written email at work, but it’s not the same. It’s writing for clarity vs. writing for creativity and passion. So, what to do? Blog? Perhaps.

We babysat a puppy yesterday. He was a 5 month old French Bulldog named Stark. The popular dog of the moment, but I love the breed. I think he wore us out more than we did him. I ran around the neighborhood and he kept up with me. He pooped outside twice and inside once.

It’s tough to have a puppy. It truly is like having a toddler, but slightly easier (puppies can lick things off the floor, and I probably wouldn’t let my child do so).

I would like to get a puppy eventually. It would be nice to have a yard for him to go out, so we didn’t have to use a leash all the time. My boss did say I could have one at the office, but I don’t want to commit to that much of a responsibility, you know? Adam is wanting to avoid the puppy stage, as am I, as it’s pretty time consuming and can be stressful.

A rescue dog would be the best, but then you don’t get to pick the breed or necessarily know the temperment. I have had a puppy in the past — a Cavalier King Charles spaniel named Charlie. He was the sweetest thing and I do miss him. Long story with that one, but it involved me separating from my ex-boyfriend. Blah!

My Diet: Spoiler Alert – I Eat Like A Toddler

March 12, 2019June 24, 2019 / notthatanyoneasked / Leave a comment

I don’t live to eat, I eat to live. I can appreciate good food, but for some reason my appetite has always been fairly small. Don’t get me wrong, I do very much enjoy a good melt cheese on s#%t session (that’s kind of an ‘in’ joke, but hopefully it translates) or ice cream binge, just like pretty much everyone else. However, I keep a very simple diet.

Most mornings during the work week, I usually eat a banana and then half a gluten free bagel with cream cheese and cucumbers. I usually space these out across the morning, so that I am hungry for lunch at 12:30ish.

For lunch, I have either tuna salad (tuna fish with mayo, celery, salt & pepper), tomato, and lettuce on toasted gluten free bread, which I should just switch to straight lettuce. Now that I am writing this all out, I am seeing where I should be cutting out the excess sugar from gluten free products. Boo, this blog post is taking a turn toward the negative.

I don’t like being gluten free. At all. It’s honestly the worst, but my body tells me it’s best. For many years, I was prescribed and took the highest dose of adderall for my height and weight. I went gluten free almost 5 years ago, I felt nearly 100% free of ADHD symptoms. I’m not always diligent, but when I fall off track I really feel the effects and remember why I cut delicious gluten from my life.

At dinner time, I tend to be tired and less disciplined. Sometimes, I’ll just snack and lose track of calories, not that I have ever really counted them.

Favorite Foods:

Cheese (all kinds!)
Pastas (Macaroni & cheese, please!)
Doughy bread (bagels, calzones, pitas, oh my!)
Dumplings

Do you see why I don’t like being gluten free? Ugh, I dislike the diet world, too. It’s so in your face. I just ordered some takeaway soup and rice from the local Thai restaurant. It should be here soon!

Not That Anyone Asked…

Musings of a fairly unremarkable 34 year old woman :)

My Life