Sharing & Over Sharing

Here I am, working on sharing and not over sharing. Not even sure what to write about, but here goes… It’s the 3rd of July and my half birthday! The 4th of July is tomorrow, but it’s kind of a non-event here.

Have I mentioned that I miss New England this time of year? The 4th of July celebrations are simply not the same down here in Florida as they are up North. Perhaps because Indepence Day it’s the true start of summer up there, whereas it feels like summer down here pretty much all year round. Or, even more likely, because the 13 original colonies take this holiday a lot more seriously than Floridians do. Rightly so.

I am still not in a very good mood, if I’m honest. I feel like there is a storm brewing in my head. Everyone and everything is annoying. Yes, it’s hormonal, but I feel more restless than I normally do this time of month. I struggle with how much is too much information on here — I’ll start to write something and then backspace, backspace, backspace.

My Mom always taught me not to “air my dirty laundry” and share certain things with others. Staying private is important to her. I think sharing is very helpful in terms of getting oneself through this crazy life. We’re really not better off alone, even though I have felt that way in the past. Sharing has become a powerful coping mechanism for me, but I still am working out the boundaries.

My anxiety always ramps up this time of month, which I’ve heard is fairly common. And while anxiety in general is common, sometimes I feel very misunderstood. I’d love to connect with others who share my beliefs and fears. I’d really like to encourage and be a sounding board for those who struggle with anxiety, depression, ADHD, or just being a woman in this modern world.

While it’s certainly become more acceptable to discuss mental health issues over the past few years, the topic still remains a bit hush hush. In an effort to enlighten the masses on mental health struggles, having poor mental health has become somewhat trendy and glamorized. That’s not what we want either. It feels like we can’t win. We want an openness and understanding — a healthy dialogue.

Oh, I am back on social media and I’ve joined a headstand yoga challenge. However, Facebook and Instagram have been down most of the day today. Bummer! I took a bunch of photos on the beach yesterday, so I’m prepared. I walked almost 4 miles as well, which was delightful. It was thundering and sprinkling when I left work today, otherwise I would’ve gone again.

I flipped over in my headstand and my phone snapped a shot as I was coming down, which looks kind of neat. I ended up covered in sand, though. Oops! Comes with the territory though. 🙂

Love those skimmer birds — they’re so graceful! I always make sure to get out of their way when I’m walking the beach, so they can “get their snack on”, as they say. Ha! I imagine they come up with a mouthful of minnows almost every time. Don’t want to get in the way of their feeding.

Anyway, I don’t think I stayed on any one topic for very long. I am really hoping one of my best friends moves back to Florida and just keep waiting to hear is she will. I have another best friend who lives in NYC and has a home that she rents out down here. But still, I want her back! They both became “forever friends” and then they moved away. Ugh — it’s still good to have them in my lives!

Before I go off on another tangent, I’m going to sign off here. That’s something my Dad would say. 😉

Hope everyone has a wonderful 4th of July holiday! Be safe and have fun!

 

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P.S. My Uncle Bruce came to me again in an Instagram post from the TSA about their security dogs — Fuhgeddaboudit!

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Monday Mood

I’ve been in a rather unpleasant mood all day today, from the very moment my alarm went off. It’s Monday, but it’s also the first day of July. Not a great attitude to start the month with, so I need to figure out a way to snap out of it real quick. I’m not exactly sure why I’m so cranky and can only think that hormones and the heat are to blame. You’re welcome for that information. Hope you’re doing well!

Today at the office wasn’t so bad I guess — we weren’t terribly busy. Last week was nuts, so I will welcome a day of being able to breathe. I didn’t really feel like walking the beach today after work and I should’ve gone to yoga instead, but I am just plain tired. My body is telling me to rest today. I haven’t had much of an appetite to work out either.

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Oh, I just realized why I’m feeling off! I had gluten (bow tie pasta) on Saturday night and now I’m paying for it. Bummer! But at least I figured it out!

Gluten doesn’t always make me sick to my stomach. And to me, that symptom is actually a more tolerable reaction compared to the brain fog, irritability, and breakouts that I do experience. Occasionally the temptation is too great and I give in and face the consequences. Sometimes I am served food that contains gluten (i.e. pasta) and don’t have a choice but to eat it, without coming off as rude.

People who think that eating gluten free is trendy and annoying are correct to some degree (ha!), but for me it has truly changed my life. I’ll have to write a whole post dedicated to my switch to being gluten free 7 years ago and explain how it has been such a game changer. It didn’t help me lose weight, but it did allow me to completely cut out a stimulant that I had taken for many years for my ADHD. I was shocked that my doctors hadn’t suggested this diet sooner, but this whole mind to gut relationship has only been re-examined in recent years.

I am looking forward to walking the beach again tomorrow. I was looking at some of my pictures from the past couple weeks and I miss these views. They’re so calming and that salty, sandy 3-5 mile walk is so good for every single part of me. The beach will always be my happy place.

 

 

 

Always A Little Bummed On Sundays

Ever since I joined the working world, I’ve always felt a little bummed on Sundays. From the moment I get up in the morning until the evening (nights in particular!) I have a pit in my stomach. The anticipation of going back to the office Monday morning, no matter how much I like my job, is always somewhat anxiety inducing for me. I know that I’m not alone in this feeling. You have to physically and mentally prepare for the upcoming week again and have to turn yourself back “on” and plug into the bustle of the week. The weekends go by much too quickly it seems.

This morning, I went to another hot yoga class at the Yoga Shack and it was pretty great — left me feeling awesome and yoga stoned. A wonderful way to begin my Sunday. I did a strong headstand for our 5 breaths of “play” and it made me feel happy. I sweat a ton! My legs got a good workout — I could feel them wanting to give out toward the end. An hour goes by pretty quickly in the studio, though I’m always happy when we’re finished.

Outside, it’s not as nasty as it was yesterday, but it feels like it’s 103 out there and there are lots of clouds. I want to be outside, but it’s unpleasant. Last night we had an exciting evening. Haha – not! The toilet was running and my man figured out what was broken and we rushed to Home Depot before it closed and got the necessary parts to fix it. I’m glad my man is handy and resourceful. That’s a sexy trait. I’m also glad for YouTube videos. 🙂

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Oh! I booked tickets to Boston from the 6th until the 9th in September. One of my best friends from college is getting married in Salem, Massachusetts to the love of her life after 11 years of dating. Traveling gives me a lot of anxiety, but I’ve not seen her in years and I’ll also be seeing a lot of my old friends, so it’s worth the trip. I’ll be staying with another one of my besties in a little Airbnb she rented in Marblehead. We lived together in Mexico and then Peru while we studied abroad in college, so I know it’ll be like old times. Even though we’re old ladies who can’t hang now. Ha!

So, that’s coming up. My bestie will be my date, as my man can’t make it up with work, plus he hasn’t met anyone who will be at the wedding. I’ll miss my dance partner, but also it will be nice not to have to worry about him having a good time. It is what it is. We’ll be celebrating a BIG wedding in a year with my very best friend, at the Madison Beach Club. Just where we both always imagined our weddings would be. It’s not where I see myself getting married anymore, and that’s okay. Life takes us different places, but man I do miss that beach sometimes.

I also get homesick for a place that doesn’t exist anymore. I can go back to that quaint little beach in Connecticut, but it will never feel the same. It’s not the same place that it was when I grew up there in the summers, taking tennis lessons in the morning and sailing lessons in the afternoons. We would spend the whole day at the beach, from breakfast to dinner and our little bodies would get so brown. My heart skips a beat just thinking about those glorious summers as a little girl, the ones where time seemed to slow down and the days lasted forever.

Then in the fall, we would all go back to our “real lives” and dream about the next summer. We even had, up until the last five years, a six month till summer party every year where we would get together for a ski weekend and wear bathing suits over our winter clothes. (Un)fortunately, I have pictures for proof. No, I will not incriminate anyone on this blog. ;P

People Pleaser

On my drive home from the beach after work today, I thought about how I don’t like the term people pleaser.

Unless… do you want me to like the term people pleaser? 😉 Ha!

This term implies someone who is a suck up and a brown-noser. An over-doting individual who can’t say “no” for fear of displeasing anyone. Someone who is willing to compromise their own desires to appease another. And that’s not quite me.

Some may consider me to be a people pleaser, but I don’t like to think of it that way. I just like others to be happy. I thrive on harmony. Also, you could call me a pushover, but it’s because I am happiest doing whatever makes the other person happy, so I would rather do whatever they want to do.

Is there anything wrong with this practice? Honestly, now that I’m thinking about it, maybe I should make some stronger decisions once and awhile so, just for the sake of it. Another something to keep in mind. Wouldn’t want anyone to mistake me for a people pleaser… 😉

On another note, it was so windy on the beach today. It was nuts! There was a heat advisory earlier, so I was concerned that I’d be sweating to death. Instead I was met with a major breeze and actually got caught in downpour. I got soaking wet and had to roll my phone up in my shirt, but it felt really good. The rain was cold, the drops were large, and the sun was still shining. Liquid sunshine, as they call it.

Enjoy these pics and a video! My big ol’ thumb made it into one of the shots, as it does. And I’m pretty sure that’s water on the lens and not some sort of godly apparition.

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Beach Walk

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So, one of the perks of my current work situation is that I am a very close walk to one of the top beaches in the United States. Siesta Key is less than a 5 minute walk from my office, and I walk there as many days a week as I can, weather permitting. Today, I walked over 5 miles and it was glorious. I am quite tired, especially my feet from the give of the sand. It’s so good for my back, knees, and joints though. Things you have to think about when you’re in your 30’s.

On my beach walks, I usually listen to music and just tune in to the beach. Of course, I also enjoy people watching. I love the feel of the water on my feet and the beauty of the sun on the glistening turquoise water that this beach is famous for. I feel grateful that I live here. It was a choice.

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Do I ever picture myself moving back up North? I honestly don’t think so right now. It’s hard to imagine not raising my potential children at the Madison Beach Club in Connecticut where I grew up, but I don’t think that’s my future anymore. I love this little paradise that I’ve found in Southwest Florida. I am lucky that my parents are here and the man I’ve chosen to share my life with grew up here all his life.

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Walking on the beach allows my mind to wander, in a healthy way. It’s majorly beneficial for my anxiety and I’d love to get to the beach every day. It’s my happy place, above anywhere else. Truly, it wouldn’t be a difficult goal to get to the beach every single day. Can I start a goal mid-way through the year? I think so!

 

This Post Is A Long Time Coming…

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I have made so many excuses not to write a blog, because I didn’t know how to start one. Well, the truth is that I still don’t, so, I’m just going to write. Unlike others who have popular blogs, I don’t have children (yet), I don’t travel all over the world, interior decorating is not my forte, and I am not a particularly good cook.

For me, my passions include yoga, lots of sleep, random acts of kindness, and looking at far too many memes to be healthy. There is literally nothing I enjoy more than curling up in bed with a good book or a few reruns of “Friends” on my laptop.

I am notorious for making elaborate plans when I’m in a good mood, and then find I’d rather crawl in a hole than go out on when the day actually comes. Canceled plans secretly thrill me and my bedtime is as close to 10pm as possible, sometimes earlier if I’m lucky. This girl loves her sleep.

Honestly, I haven’t the foggiest idea how to start a personal blog, so I’ll just begin mine with basic transparency. We’ll try to get some of the mundane details out of the way.

I’m in my early thirties, and the only child / adopted daughter of two very wonderful parents. I was born and raised in New England, but have been living in Southwest Florida for the past 4+ years and am happy to call this tropical (admittedly kind of sweaty) paradise home.

My hardworking, charismatic father’s relationship with my overbearing, big-hearted mother is #goals, as they say these days. Ha! (I’m not THAT old!) They are good relationship role models, and I am a very lucky girl, trials and tribulations aside.

I am not married yet, and am in no particular rush. However, admittedly, I’ve got a little bit of the baby fever. This is most likely a biological desire. Everyone and their mother (pun intended) is having babies right now at this phase in my life.

Been meaning to start a blog for an extraordinarily long amount of time, but always made excuses. I figured, who would want to read what I have to say? And do I really want anyone to read my ramblings?

Like I said, I don’t have cute babies to blog about, I’m not model, a gourmet chef, or master crafter. My passions include a semi-respectable yoga practice, listening to music, going to the beach, and sleeping.

So, here we are…

I feel like with blogging, I walk a fine line between being vulnerable and over-sharing. This is not a line I straddle confidently, but I guess that’s part of the challenge.

With reluctance and without further a-do, I begin this blog.

I guess we can only see where it goes…

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