strength

Siblings

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I am only child and I have always wanted siblings, desperately. Even more so, now that I am older, many of my friends have developed close relationships with their brothers and sisters, and have brought cousins into the mix. It makes me envious, I’ll admit. I have two girlfriends who are like sisters, but at the end of the day, they’re not actually my family. It would be nice to have a built-in friend for life who could share the responsibility of my parents.

With me being adopted when my birth mother was 17 years old, there is a very good chance that I actually do have siblings out there. I am intrigued by this idea. I’d love to simply see some people who share my genetics, finally. The whole nature vs nurture thing will be interesting to see when I meet these potential siblings. I picture sisters for some reason, but I could have brothers. I should really find out, shouldn’t I?

My friend sent me a screenshot of a picture she found on Instagram from a brewing company in Rhode Island, and one of the girls looks exactly like me. It’s super weird! I can tell that she looks similar to me, but also… is that what I look like? My doppelganger for sure!

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Today at work was okay — it was dark and rainy literally ALL day, which is rare for Florida. Usually we get a little sunshine throughout the day. There is a storm system brewing in the Gulf of Mexico and it’s just swirling around down there. It’s supposed to rain most of the week and into the weekend. Yuck!

Yesterday, I went on my first run of 2019. No, I’m not joking. I haven’t run since last year. I had been avoiding it, particularly since hurting my back, but recently I have been wanting to get back into it. I’d love to run some fun 5ks in the near future. I have always enjoyed/slightly dreaded doing running events with friends. My man enjoys them, too. 🙂

So, I wasn’t particularly speedy, but I am in better shape than I thought I was in, so that’s great! The weather was also pretty extreme yesterday– very humid and in the 90’s. I am very glad that I did it and look forward to going for longer and getting faster. The yoga will help with strength and my mind, too.

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My Journey Back To Yoga

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So, it has been an extremely long journey for me to get myself back to yoga after hurting my back this past January. I’ve been doing some light stretching and working out at home, walking on the beach a ton, and participating in yoga challenges on Instagram, but it took me a lot longer than I would have liked to make it back to a yoga class. Practicing alone is great, but nothing quite matches the energy of a classed filled with sweaty bodies who’ve all come together for the same purpose.

After I herniated a couple of discs, I was scared to go back to yoga class. Not just because yoga is how I injured myself, but because I was nervous about what people would think about how much flexibility I’d lost and how much weight I gained. I felt broken, not just on the outside, but the inside too. My body and spirit felt heavy, and now, FINALLY, I can feel everything getting lighter.

Honestly, today’s class felt like coming home. Silent tears streamed down my cheeks during savasana. I did my best to wipe them away so no one would notice, but I think they blended in with all the sweat. It was a pretty tough flow– even the teacher agreed that it was more difficult than she had intended. I noticed the most weakness in my arms, which isn’t all that surprising.

Oh, I meant to mention that my uncle Bruce died this past Thursday. He was born disabled and doctors figured he would only live into his 30’s, but he was 67 years old when he passed. It’s very sad, and I feel horrible that my Dad had to bury his little brother, but he lived a long and full life.

We have been talking about Bruce’s life and legacy, and he is a role model for sure. He was dealt a very difficult hand in this life and yet he always managed to have a smile on his face. His positivity and outlook on life was truly an amazing example. I’ve been thinking about that a lot the past few days — I want to live like Bruce. Just dive into life headfirst and make no apologies, but have all the compassion and kindness in the world.

For as long as I can remember, my uncle had a sign hanging in his room that said, “Fuhgeddaboudit”. In looking it up online, and it is taking on a much deeper meaning. Actually the slang term was added to the Oxford English Dictionary. Forget about it — the issue is not worth the time, energy, mental effort, or emotional resources. That really was Bruce’s life outlook, whether he was fully conscious of it or not. We could all learn a lot from the way he approached life.

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