Self Love: Are You Getting Yours?

Self love is such a buzzword lately, but for good reason. It is a very important concept and something that I’m not very good at, not even a little bit. Admittedly, I always seem to blur the line between self love and self indulgence. I am also so mean to myself, it’s unbelievable. You wouldn’t think I was ‘such a nice person’ if you heard the way I talk to myself. Negative self talk has always been one of my biggest challenges.

Lately, I am really trying to take better care of myself, starting with the most basic of needs. I’m focusing on treating myself like a child. I need to make sure that I am getting fed healthy food for every meal, that I get adequate rest, and be sure that I find time to play. As an adult, it’s nice if your playtime is form of exercise as well. (That’s why I love yoga:) ). I’ve got to protect myself the best I can in this world; no one else is going to do it for me.

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I got home from work, had a half of an Rx bar because my tummy was rumbling. They fill me up so much! (Here’s a pic for you, if you don’t know what I’m talking about)

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A little bit later, I went for a run. It’s 87 degrees out there today and I am quite sweaty. I was able to run a mile without stopping again. It wasn’t particularly fast, but still feeling pretty good about it. Just hope my knees don’t get angry with me. Yay for getting older! Gotta be careful with all the body parts.

Hope everyone is having a wonderful Wednesday! Have a great rest of the week! ❤

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Sharing & Over Sharing

Here I am, working on sharing and not over sharing. Not even sure what to write about, but here goes… It’s the 3rd of July and my half birthday! The 4th of July is tomorrow, but it’s kind of a non-event here.

Have I mentioned that I miss New England this time of year? The 4th of July celebrations are simply not the same down here in Florida as they are up North. Perhaps because Indepence Day it’s the true start of summer up there, whereas it feels like summer down here pretty much all year round. Or, even more likely, because the 13 original colonies take this holiday a lot more seriously than Floridians do. Rightly so.

I am still not in a very good mood, if I’m honest. I feel like there is a storm brewing in my head. Everyone and everything is annoying. Yes, it’s hormonal, but I feel more restless than I normally do this time of month. I struggle with how much is too much information on here — I’ll start to write something and then backspace, backspace, backspace.

My Mom always taught me not to “air my dirty laundry” and share certain things with others. Staying private is important to her. I think sharing is very helpful in terms of getting oneself through this crazy life. We’re really not better off alone, even though I have felt that way in the past. Sharing has become a powerful coping mechanism for me, but I still am working out the boundaries.

My anxiety always ramps up this time of month, which I’ve heard is fairly common. And while anxiety in general is common, sometimes I feel very misunderstood. I’d love to connect with others who share my beliefs and fears. I’d really like to encourage and be a sounding board for those who struggle with anxiety, depression, ADHD, or just being a woman in this modern world.

While it’s certainly become more acceptable to discuss mental health issues over the past few years, the topic still remains a bit hush hush. In an effort to enlighten the masses on mental health struggles, having poor mental health has become somewhat trendy and glamorized. That’s not what we want either. It feels like we can’t win. We want an openness and understanding — a healthy dialogue.

Oh, I am back on social media and I’ve joined a headstand yoga challenge. However, Facebook and Instagram have been down most of the day today. Bummer! I took a bunch of photos on the beach yesterday, so I’m prepared. I walked almost 4 miles as well, which was delightful. It was thundering and sprinkling when I left work today, otherwise I would’ve gone again.

I flipped over in my headstand and my phone snapped a shot as I was coming down, which looks kind of neat. I ended up covered in sand, though. Oops! Comes with the territory though. 🙂

Love those skimmer birds — they’re so graceful! I always make sure to get out of their way when I’m walking the beach, so they can “get their snack on”, as they say. Ha! I imagine they come up with a mouthful of minnows almost every time. Don’t want to get in the way of their feeding.

Anyway, I don’t think I stayed on any one topic for very long. I am really hoping one of my best friends moves back to Florida and just keep waiting to hear is she will. I have another best friend who lives in NYC and has a home that she rents out down here. But still, I want her back! They both became “forever friends” and then they moved away. Ugh — it’s still good to have them in my lives!

Before I go off on another tangent, I’m going to sign off here. That’s something my Dad would say. 😉

Hope everyone has a wonderful 4th of July holiday! Be safe and have fun!

 

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P.S. My Uncle Bruce came to me again in an Instagram post from the TSA about their security dogs — Fuhgeddaboudit!

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Happy 2019!

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Happy New Year, folks!

It has been a long time, and for that, I apologize. I should get in the habit of writing more, if I intend to reach people, which I do. I have a message that is worth sharing. More than one, I think. Though my focus will be anxiety, for sure. And ADHD, adoption, and now… back/spine health!

On my birthday this year, turning 34, I decided to go to the beach to take pictures for a yoga challenge. Nothing unusual and it was an absolutely beautiful evening. The water down here in Florida has been in the 60’s and we have had red tide. I was taking a few shots down by the water’s edge and then decided to wade in to about ankle deep and do a backbend.

That’s when I heard something pop in my back and I felt it go into spasm immediately.

From there, it has been some of the most excruciating pain I’ve ever been in, in my life. For that, I am thankful, because I am certain there is much worse pain to be in. However, there is no denying it was awful. I went to the doctor and he sent me home with three prescriptions — steroids, anti-inflammatory, and muscle relaxants. Also a shot of pain meds and cortisone. Ugh!

After a week, the pain had subsided for the most part, but I was experiencing numbness in my right toes and left leg. It felt like pins and needles and there was definite weakness affiliated with the lack of feeling.

I was told to get an MRI to see what we’re dealing with, and that way we would know what kind of PT I would need. The results showed a herniated disc — I have a large tear and am a candidate for surgery, if I so choose. The plan is to continue with decompression at the chiropractor and then see how I am doing in a month.

Time is not always kind. However, I am very aware of how fragile our health can be.